Lessons life teaches us

Earlier this afternoon, a friend and i were talking on gtalk. And out of the blue (so it seemed), she said something sarcastically, and logged off on me. I sat there staring at the screen - trying to figure out what happened - surprised at the tone. Reading and re-reading the conversation for the last little bit, the change in mood really didn't make sense.

So for the next 8 hours (4pm - 12a),
1. i spoke to 3 other friends and asking them for advise.
2. Thinking what went wrong. There were a couple of problems: First, I had no clue why she was mad and second, she wasn't online, nor was her phone reachable, so leaving me no means to get in touch with her
3. looked through old emails to see if there was anything I said that was offensive.
4. checked her calendar for any appointments/ meetings - Well, I was looking for a reason to tell myself that she's just busy or not home.
5. Kept calling her phone - I think I've learnt the two phrases in Arabic (kinda): The person you are calling is not available and the phone you are calling is currently turned off or not in range
6. My messenger nic set to: "I'm sorry"- so half the world knew that I was really sorry for anything I said or did that offended her.

Anyways, at 1 AM, really tired, i lay in my bed thinking what went wrong. Was there a misunderstanding building up for a while now, and I hadn't realized it? What could I have done differently? Unfortunately, I had no answers. A thought occurred to me: This experience was somehow weird. As though it was teaching me a lesson. But I couldn't point to it. There was something staring right out to me - but I couldn't see it. What was it? I recalled the entire incident, and how I did everything to apologize, did everything to find out what's wrong, did things to make up*.

And that's when i realized. I was so wrong in thinking everything was under my control. I closed my eyes, and made a dua: Oh Allah, please remove any/all misunderstandings between my friend and I.
I was under the impression that my actions could change the world - when not even a leaf falls without the Will of Allah. With these thoughts running into my head, I think I fell asleep for a few seconds, or a minute. When I woke up, my eyes fell on my blackberry - it was right beside my pillow (the usual place), upside down. Unconsciously I turned it around, and noticed a light blink. New Message, I thought to myself.

Guess who, what, when, why: It was the same friend - asking me "when was the last time I was mad @ you anyways??" It was, after all, a misunderstanding [yes, silly me!]. My dua was accepted, and we are cool now :)

Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen!

This was the best part of her email: "If I ever did get upset @ you for no reason, u're supposed to be angry @ me for that - not start apologising".
Sigh! friendship.. I had forgotten how sincere and strong it is. Alhamdulillah. When you love a friend only for the sake of Allah, I guess petty things in life can't cause cracks.

I once read friendship is like a dish. Once broken it can be mended, but the cracks always remain. I pray that the dish never breaks.

* for the record - I posted on the AL blog, and even considered combining the "upside down meem and the crescent on the i" - just to make up ;)


LivingHalal said...

Haha. Thanks for sharing.

Hafsa said...

you are welcome :$

Maryam said...

Asak Hafsa,

I really appreciate the way you presented your thoughts, if only i would have understood what exactly made her say something sarcastically and sign off ????

God blog, Keep going.

Hafsa said...

Maryam, Jazak Allah for visiting my blog. I apologize for not clearing this earlier.

I initially didn't think it was important, because the lesson of the post was the importance of making dua.

But I've reconsidered it, and decided to mention what I've left off. The only reason for the change of mind: there's another lesson for me to learn.

My friend was very upset at something else that had happened. When I found out, I felt selfish for thinking of myself all this time. Rather I should have made seventy excuses* for her. I should prayed to Allah swt for her. I disapproved of her behaviour, I should have given her the benefit of the doubt. It could have been her internet connection, or someone else could have hacked into her account, or could have been her brother or sister joking with her.

* Hadith: if you hear about your brother something of which you disapprove, seek from one to seventy excuses for him. If you cannot find any, convince yourselves that it is an excuse you do not know [Bayhaqi]

Maryam said...

Thanks Hafsa