Accept the things you can't change

Here's the link to the comic strip:

Cinderella Was Not Saved...

....She Was a Happy Person All Along!

Thoughts..

my e-friend's msn nick read: "Your life is either an example for others or a warning".

Got me thinking. There are living models around us. I asked myself how often I learn from others. If I see good in someone, do I pray that Allah blesses me with the good attributes? When I notice someone committing an act of sin, do I seek refuge from Allah from such sins, and pray for that person?

Like a close relative of mine, in the months I've spent with her, there's never been a time when she's sent anyone empty handed. Whether it is someone pan-handling on the street, or an old friend who's going through times - she has something for everyone. A penny, a household item she doesn't need anymore, clothing, food - and if she's given everything the person needed, she's also prescribed duas and waza'ef. I pray Allah makes us all generous.

Look around - what would you like to be? An example or a warning.

A Confused pig

You’ve read all of the three little pigs
Who used to live in a house of twigs

The little wolf came often to see them
Some thought it was nothing but a gem

So they sat around talking all day
Pausing at times only to pray*

Was the little pig wrong in judging the wolf so soon
Would the wolf turn out to be a hidden moon

What was it about the wolf that time would only tell
The little pig wondered if it was worth a DELL
Was it as precious and rare as a shell
Or was it time that was casting a spell

The little pig knew exactly what to do
he wasn't going to sit around cooking his stew

He knew in Allah, he should trust
Who was Kind and always Just!!!

*All creation glorify Allah!

Lessons life teaches us

Earlier this afternoon, a friend and i were talking on gtalk. And out of the blue (so it seemed), she said something sarcastically, and logged off on me. I sat there staring at the screen - trying to figure out what happened - surprised at the tone. Reading and re-reading the conversation for the last little bit, the change in mood really didn't make sense.

So for the next 8 hours (4pm - 12a),
1. i spoke to 3 other friends and asking them for advise.
2. Thinking what went wrong. There were a couple of problems: First, I had no clue why she was mad and second, she wasn't online, nor was her phone reachable, so leaving me no means to get in touch with her
3. looked through old emails to see if there was anything I said that was offensive.
4. checked her calendar for any appointments/ meetings - Well, I was looking for a reason to tell myself that she's just busy or not home.
5. Kept calling her phone - I think I've learnt the two phrases in Arabic (kinda): The person you are calling is not available and the phone you are calling is currently turned off or not in range
6. My messenger nic set to: "I'm sorry"- so half the world knew that I was really sorry for anything I said or did that offended her.

Anyways, at 1 AM, really tired, i lay in my bed thinking what went wrong. Was there a misunderstanding building up for a while now, and I hadn't realized it? What could I have done differently? Unfortunately, I had no answers. A thought occurred to me: This experience was somehow weird. As though it was teaching me a lesson. But I couldn't point to it. There was something staring right out to me - but I couldn't see it. What was it? I recalled the entire incident, and how I did everything to apologize, did everything to find out what's wrong, did things to make up*.

And that's when i realized. I was so wrong in thinking everything was under my control. I closed my eyes, and made a dua: Oh Allah, please remove any/all misunderstandings between my friend and I.
I was under the impression that my actions could change the world - when not even a leaf falls without the Will of Allah. With these thoughts running into my head, I think I fell asleep for a few seconds, or a minute. When I woke up, my eyes fell on my blackberry - it was right beside my pillow (the usual place), upside down. Unconsciously I turned it around, and noticed a light blink. New Message, I thought to myself.

Guess who, what, when, why: It was the same friend - asking me "when was the last time I was mad @ you anyways??" It was, after all, a misunderstanding [yes, silly me!]. My dua was accepted, and we are cool now :)

Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen!

This was the best part of her email: "If I ever did get upset @ you for no reason, u're supposed to be angry @ me for that - not start apologising".
Sigh! friendship.. I had forgotten how sincere and strong it is. Alhamdulillah. When you love a friend only for the sake of Allah, I guess petty things in life can't cause cracks.

I once read friendship is like a dish. Once broken it can be mended, but the cracks always remain. I pray that the dish never breaks.





* for the record - I posted on the AL blog, and even considered combining the "upside down meem and the crescent on the i" - just to make up ;)

Knowledge - Reflections

"the books on our shelves is not really an indication of our knowledge, it's how we apply that knowledge that defines whether we truly are learning." - friend/ blogger (FA*)
Edit: *Ottawa/ Vancouver/ Montreal - Rightly called "A perpetual traveller"

I have been thinking about it. We learn something new everyday, but to what extend do we apply it? While I was still contemplating on it, another friend mentioned (H):
"My "philosophy" (which is what the sunnah is) to eat 1/3rd food, leave 1/3rd for water and the last third for air"

Most of us have heard this hadith, but why don't we put in into action?

And the Prophet (Peace be upon) said:"The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach; for the son of Adam a few mouthfuls are sufficient to keep his back straight. If you must fill it, then one-third for food, one-third for drink and one-third for air."[at-Tirmidhi, 2380, 1939, ibn Majah, 3349]

What we learn isn't always reflected in our actions. Why is there such a big gap between the two? (this is a question to myself first). And if I think about what FA said, if we aren't applying what we know, then "knowing" it doesn't hold any value.

I think this is where the term "beneficial knowledge" fits in.

Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali (Allah have mercy on him) said,

“Beneficial knowledge is [knowledge] that increases your fear of God Most High, improves your ability to discern the faults of your ego, makes you more cognizant of how to worship your Lord, reduces your desire for this world, increases your longing for the next world, and opens your spiritual insight to the disastrous defects of your actions so you can avoid them. It discloses to you the plots and delusions of the Devil and how he misleads the scholars who have gone astray until he exposes them to the hatred and anger of God Most High, for they have used religion to purchase this world, taken knowledge as a means to gain the wealth of sultans, to consume the wealth of religious endowments, the poor, and the needy, and turned their energies throughout the day to the acquisition of prestige and high standing in the hearts of people, which forces them to show off their good deeds, to argue, and to be quarrelsome and ostentatious when they speak.”

Taken from Words of Guidance and SunniPath Answers

Therefore, the Prophet saws asked us to pray for knowledge that benefits:

O Allah, I seek refuge in Thee from the knowledge which does not benefit, from the heart that does not entertain the fear (of Allah), from the soul that does not feel contented and the supplication that is not responded.” Source: Sahih Muslim, hadith 1260.

Applying what we learn in terms of Sunnah:

Discussion around importance of ahadith/ following the sunnah is a lengthy topic in its own. A lot has been written about it, and my thoughts fall short compared to the other bloggers. But I think it's worth reading Maulana Thanwi's words on following the sunnah:

“The special secret in following the sunnah is this that the person who adopts the sunnah becomes the beloved of Allah. The reason for this is the resemblance to Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wa Sallam). Since Allah has such an immense love for Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wa Sallam), anything or anyone that resembles him will be beloved by Allah. This is the closest way of reaching Allah (Wusool ila Allah).”

-Malfuzaat Kamaalaat-e-Ashrafiyah

Source: The Secret of Being Loved by Following the Sunnah

The one reason why I love Provisions for the Seekers, is because every hadith in that book is so simple, broken down into smaller phrases. The author (Shaykh 'Ashiq Ilahi al-Bulandshehri) wrote the book for beginners of Arabic language, and also he aimed it towards the young minds in the madrasas. If I remember correctly, Mufti Yusuf mentioned in Shariah Progam that the author noticed the students studied the six hadith books close to the last years @ the madrasa. And the curriculum had no hadith books for the beginners. The author thought it was necessary to introduce the hadith in the beginning years. So the book helps not just in understanding the grammar (also the sentence structure, vocabulary....), but also, the teachings are very easy to understand and apply.

For instance, this hadith
"The upper [giving] hand is superior to the lower [taking] hand" - the meaning once again is very simple. It tells us (which is one of many lessons) we should always give, rather than expecting from others.

And "the one who initiates salam is free from pride". Lesson: Whenever possible, be the first to convey salam.

And my personal favorite: "The best among you is he who learns the Qur’ān and teaches it (Bukhārī)." A motivation to learn the Quran, and once you are able - teach it to others.

(I can go on and on...). It says in the introduction to the book:

"The Messenger (upon him be peace) himself said, “I have been sent with the jawami al-kalim” (Bukhari)—that is, pithy language that expresses a multitude of meanings in few words."

This book came as a clear proof to me. The beauty of the words and the depth of meaning are the only two aspects my weak mind could understand. I would personally recommend everyone to get a copy of this book.

Sacred Learning goes a step further and looks deeper into each hadith: Hadith Sessions - Zad al-Talibin (Provisions for the Seekers). And Alhamdulillah to technology, the lectures are available online.

Odd Wisdom [no pun intended]

Always remember that the situation you are in IS the best one for you. Had you been in any other situation, you wouldn't be happy.

lesson: the sooner you accept reality, the better... Makes no sense whining about it. Allah knows whats best for you

happiness doesn't depend on where you are - you can be in a third world, developing country and still be happy. Happiness is about finding the inner peace.

lesson: learn to be content.

Feel free to add your thoughts about these "Odd Wisdoms"

Life is about learning

i was telling a friend of mine that i could be very self centered @ times. My conversations, they are all about me, myself and i. This is very obvious on Instant Messenger - i look over previous convo's, and i'm really surprised at how my lines the other person spoke.



To that effect, I read the post below on a friend of a friend's blog, and figured -others who can benefit from it as well, insha Allah

Source: Intellijunkt Commentary

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If a person starts telling you, whether in private or public, something that you already knew very well, you should pretend as if you do not know it. Do not rush to reveal your knowledge or to interfere with the speech. Instead, show your attention and concentration. The honorable tab'i Imam Ata ibn Abi Rabah said: "A young man would tell me something that I may have heard before he was born. Nevertheless, I would listen to him as if I had never heard it before."

Ibrahim ibn al-Junaid said: "A wise man said to his son: 'Learn the art of listening as you learn the art of speaking." Listening well means maintaining eye contact, allowing the speaker to finish the spech, and restraining your urge to interrupt his speech.

Al-Hafiz al-Khatib al-Baghdadi said in a poem:

Never interrupt a talk

Though you know it inside out

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Man's Best Friend: Books

Ibn al-Jawzi (rahmatullahi 'alayhi) once said:

"If I were to describe my state, then I am never content with reading books, and when I see a book that I had not seen before, it is as if I have found a treasure. … And if I said that I read 20,000 books, then in truth it would be more, and I was then still a student.

I benefited from reading those books by observing the lives of the early people and the extent of their memorization, their determination, their worship, the diversity of their disciplines, of which one would not know had one not read those books. Thus I disliked the current state of people and looked down on the weak determination of students nowadays. And to Allah is all praise."

("The Value of Time" by Shaykh Abdul Fattah Abu Ghuddah)

From At-Talib

Travel time

CNN discusses "Why some don't like to take vacations"

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The reasons vary, from having too few vacation days available to lacking money for travel. But in some cases, it seems, many people just aren't getting into the habit of getting away.

A recent study by Orbitz, the online travel company, found a drop in the number of people taking three-week or two-week vacations and an increase in those taking a week or less. One-third of respondents said they took five or fewer days of vacation in the past year

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As Muslims, we are asked to travel, and see for ourselves, the blessings of Allah - Reflect upon them, as they are signs of Allah's existence and His favors upon us. We are also asked to learn from history - by looking at what remained of people who lived before us. It should remind us that life is a journey, not a destination. That the wrong doers are indeed punished. That the Truth wins. The have-not's should not just remind us to thank the Almighty for blessing us, but also reiterate the importance of charity.


Now that we are ready to go on a vacation...don't know where to go on vacation? Consider The Ozzies - top seven wonders of the world. The author has traveled to a number of countries in the last couple of years. So he has an authority on the subject

Patience

While reading Qasas-un-Nabeen, we came across the story of Ya'qub (AS). While he practiced "beautiful patience", he also acknowledged his "grief". Someone in my Arabic class, asked, "how can one be patient and grieve @ the same time?" It's a common question.

So I wanted to share this particular passage from the book I'm reading - Patience and Gratitude by Ibn Qayyim Al Jawziyyah

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Crying out and complaining to Allah does not mean that a person has no patience. In the Qur'an, we find Ya'qub (AS) saying, "My course is comely patience (sabrun jamil)" (Yusuf 12:83), but his love and longing for his lost son Yusuf made him say: "How great is my grief for Yusuf" (Yusuf 12:83). Sabrun jamil refers to patience with no compliant to other people. Complaining to Allah does cancel out patience, as Ya'qub said, "I only complain of my distraction and anguish to Allah" (Yusuf 12:86).

Allah also enjoined sabrun jamil on the Prophet (SAAS) and he obeyed, but he pray "O Allah, I complain to You of my weakness and helplessness".
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My post wouldn't be complete if I don't quote SunniPath. SunniPath's answer to this question touches another aspect of grief - tears are a mercy

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Weeping is a natural response the powerful emotions we feel during trial and tribulation and do express our complete neediness and dependence to the Lord Almighty, when accompanied by the attitude of submission to the Will of Allah. In this way, weeping certainly does not contradict the act of patience.

[..........the answer continues - Hafsa]

It has been narrated in Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim, Sunan Abi Dawood and Sunan Ibn Majah:

Anas bin Malik reported that: The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) entered the room and we accompanied him... And Ibrahim breathed his last. The eyes of Allah's Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) were filled with tears. Abd al-Rahman Ibn 'Auf said: 'You are weeping, O Messenger of Allah'. He (Allah bless him and give him peace) replied: "Ibn 'Auf, This is mercy". Then he (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: "Our eyes shed tears and our hearts are filled with grief, but we do not say anything except that by which Allah is pleased. O, Ibrahim we are sorrowful due to your separation."

Source: Can we weep when in grief?

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Mufti Taqi Usmani

I first heard of Mufti Taqi Usmani from Mufti Yusuf Mullan - my Arabic teacher @ Shariah. He spoke very highly of him. And around the same time, I was taking Introduction to Quranic Sciences (with SunniPath). Sh Shohail recommended Mufti Taqi's book "An Approach to the Qur'anic Sciences"- I really liked the book. Since then, i've been reading his views, his books, listening to his lectures - whenever possible.

Last week, a friend referred me to a lecture by Mufti Taqi Usmani - it's on "bahas-o-mubahisa" (jazak Allah, my friend) Everyone must listen to it.

More lectures can be found @ Khutbaat.com and albalagh.net

Friends

Can friends keep secrets from friends? What happens when you find out something about the friend that they lied to you about? Or they just didn't think it was "important" to mention? Would you ever trust that friend? Or going forward, would you always suspect that they might not be disclosing all facts?

I should probably give 'em seventy excuses for not trusting me.

I probably am not as good/ close friend as I thought I was.

I probably should keep secrets too, since everyone tells me don't trust anyone.

Edit [7th day of 7th month of the 7th (+2000) year] 70 excuses it is! Jazak Allah HI for the reminder! And I forgive her (Allah forgives those who forgive others)

Meditation of the Prophet (Qisas.com)

When becoming humiliated, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) in Ta’if.

When being starved, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) tying two stones to his stomach in the battle of Khandaq.

When becoming angry, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s control of anger on the martyrdom of his beloved Uncle Hamza.

When losing a tooth, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s tooth in the battle of Uhud.

When bleeding from any part of the body, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s body covered in blood on his return from Ta’if.

When feeling lonely, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s seclusion in Mount Hira .

When feeling tired in Salaat, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s blessed feet in Tahajjud.

When being prickled with thorns, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s pain from Abu Lahab’s wife.

When being troubled by neighbours, remember the old woman who would empty rubbish on the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam).

When losing a child, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s son, Ibrahim.

When beginning a long journey, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s long journey to Madinah.

When going against a Sunnah, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s intercession, (Ummati, Ummati, Ummati) (My Ummah).

When sacrificing an animal, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s sacrifice of 63 animals for his Ummah.

Before shaving your beard, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s face rejecting the two beardless Iranians.

When falling into an argument with your wife, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s encounter with Aisha and Hafsa.

When experiencing less food in the house, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s days of poverty.

When experiencing poverty, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s advice to Ashaab-e-Suffa (People of Suffa).

When losing a family member, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s departure from this world.

When becoming an orphan, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s age at six.

When sponsoring an orphan, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s sponsor for Zaid ibn Haritha.

When fearing an enemy, remember the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)’s saying to Abu Bakr in Mount Thour .

Whatever situation you may find yourself in, remember your role model, the best of creation: Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) Muhammad.

Whatever you may do, remember that your deeds are presented before our Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam). Are we pleasing him or displeasing him?

Lesson - Safa and Marwa

Imam Anwar Awlaki mentions the story of Hajara (may Allah be pleased with her) running between Safa and Marwa. And when she ran between these two hills, she was worried, anxious, scared for her lil' one. She was searching for travellers - any sight of life - her food had run out, there was no water either. Her son was crying. The sun burning down on them. She was hungry and thirsty. Out of anxiety, she ran between the two hills.

And today, we repeat the same action - in her memory. Had she known that day that centuries later millions and millions will remember her, and honour her, and she would have happily ran between the hills.

These are the two hills between which she ran back and forth in search of water for her beloved infant son, while she was all alone according to the plan of God Himself.

"Behold! Safaa and Marwah are among the symbols of God. So if those who visit the House in the Season or at other times, should compass them round, it is no sin in them. And if any one obeys his own impulse to Good, be sure that God is He Who recognizes and knows."(Quran 2:158)
Source: Hajj and the Neglected Legacy of a Great Woman

MORAL time: Sometimes things seem hard, and impossible. But we should be patient, and continue to search for answers, 'coz Allah is the Best of Planners!

This post is dedicated to a close friend. She's been planning for something for a while, and has been running into issues. So, R____n, be patient. Everything happens for a reason :)

How to make good decisions

Din seeking the Deen on: How to make good decisions

A Prophet's Prayer

"I learned this from Muhammad AlShareef's seerah course, The Shepherd's Path:
A person's du'a tells you a lot about him. In it are his hopes, dreams, aspirations and fears. What did the prophets pray for? This du'a of Ibrahim 'alaihi salaam is in Surah Baqarah: 127-129.

And when Ibrahim and Isma'il were raising the foundations of the House, (Ibrahim prayed), "Our Lord! Accept from us (this duty). Lo! Thou, only Thou, art the Hearer, the Knower...

He and his son were building the ka'abah. Can you think of any more guaranteed good deed than this? This is the House of Allah, that Allah had commanded them to build. Yet, in all his humility, he still prays to Allah to accept this deed from them.

"Our Lord! And make us submissive unto Thee and of our seed a nation submissive unto Thee, and show us our ways of worship, and relent towards us. Lo! Thou, only Thou art the Relenting, the Merciful...

Who do we make du'a for? Ourselves? Our friends? Our children? Our
grandchildren? Ibrahim 'alaihi salaam is making du'a for a nation that will come from his great-great-great-,,,-great-grandchildren. This is vision.

"Our Lord! And raise up in their midst a messenger from among them who shall recite unto them Thy revelations, and shall instruct them in the Scripture and in wisdom and shall make them grow. Lo! Thou, only Thou, art the Mighty, the Wise."

Here, Ibrahim 'alaihi salaam is making du'a for the coming of Muhammad, sal Allahu 'alaihi wa sallam. When is this du'a answered? What is the period between Ibrahim 'alaihi salaam and RasulAllah sal Allahu 'alaihi wa sallam? Centuries? Millenia? WAllahu 'alam.

Even the du'a of a prophet might not be answered for a long, long
time.
Posted by Sawitri

Abu Bakr Radi Allahu Anhu

Tabuk was the last expedition of the Holy Prophet. He was keen to make it a great success, he therefore asked people to help the expedition with whatever they could. This brought the best out of Abu Bakr who beat all records as he took all his money and household articles and heaped them at the Prophet's feet.

"Have you left anything for your children?" asked the Prophet. Abu Bakr then responded with great faith "Allâh and his Messenger are enough for them". Companions standing around were stunned they realized that whatever they do they could not outdo Abu Bakr in the field of service to Islâm.

Source: Sunnah Online

Nafs

During his caliphate, ‘Umar once interrupted his own sermon with: “O ‘Umar, you were a shepherd taking care of your father’s sheep!” When asked why he had said that, he answered: “I remembered that I was the caliph, and became afraid of feeling proud.” One time, when asked why he was carrying a sack on his back, he replied: “I felt some pride, and wanted to get rid of it.” (Gülen 18-31).

Free your Soul....

Stop. Take a minute out of your hectic, fast-paced life. Put down your pursuits, discard your desires and listen. Not to me, but to yourself.

Close your eyes and focus. Hear the sound of your breathing. Distance yourself from the world around you, turn your thoughts inward. Into the space you occupy on this planet. Just you, nothing else.

You no longer have cars, houses, clothes, possessions. None of the physical accroutements that clutter your mind and tempt your heart. Dig through the external layer of your existence, shed the clothes that hide you from your true self.

Shatter the as yet unbroken glass of your ego. Delve through the crusty, hardened shell of your pride, the rough exterior that powers you through your existence.

Continue your excavation, deeper and deeper into yourself. Through the sleek, shiny veneer of cynicism, the smug, all-knowing intellect for whom life's grandeur holds no mystery. Crush that self-satisfied sardonic curse that twists all beauty, that denies the very existence of your soul.

Approach the heart gently, for this is the hardest. Pierce through the pulsating emotions of your wants and needs, tear a gaping hole through your very life force.

Tenderly allow your soul, the core of your being, to exit from the hole in your heart. Free it from its constraints, from the many layers built up over the years, that hide and bury it in the sands of your daily routine dullery.

See, feel, taste, smell, hear that soul as it breaks free. Allow it to roam, follow it as it discovers the world it was meant for. Harness its strength as it begins to recognize sister souls around it. It connects with the souls embodied in man, it uplifts the souls in every animal, vegetable and mineral.

Your unshackled self, finally unfettered by your selfish, personal wants, can now merge with the divine sparks in existence and is at one with the world.

Originally written by The Rabbi's Kid